Kale of Relationship Anarchy and I have been hosting a discussion group in Vancouver in conjunction with some Facebook group-based community (Relationship Anarchy, Relationship Anarchy Vancouver). Our fifth discussion was much smaller, and more intimate, which was nice. We were able to dig into a few specific things more deeply. Here are the general notes on what was covered.
What is RA?
~ is it a jumping point off of poly?
~ solidarity is born from self-governance
~ where do allegiances lie regarding terms, and why?
~ cause for pause, and active choices instead of falling into patterns
~ vigilance in communication
~ appeals to the confusion that relationshipping at people naturally fosters
~ requires an analysis of priorities
~ there is narrative baggage around what the words mean
~ discussing the intentions people have towards each other, and accepting those things may change
~ expectation diffusing/fostering: when are they used and why do we use them?
~ the words that are normal in non-monogamous circles sometimes aren’t known to the general population, so descriptions can make conversations easier
We are super privileged to be able to talk about our non-monogamy openly.
~ we hope that things that are not continuing or changing doesn’t mean that there’s been a failure on the part of the individual experiencing loss
~ value placed on the longevity of a relationship is an old idea
~ attachment to the relationship or the person being a certain way in our lives can be oppressive
The discussion groups occur once a month on the first Tuesday at the Tipper Restaurant and Review Room.